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I’m guessing that this won’t surprise anyone, but I’m a sex geek. I’ve been studying, learning, talking, and teaching about sex for over 20 years and I continue to find it endlessly fascinating, complex, and fun.
Though I’ve described myself as a sex geek for a while, I decided that I wanted to explore what that means, so I turned to facebook and twitter. After all, I’m connected to a lot of other sex geeks and I wanted to get their input. I found some really interesting trends in their responses.
Interest in sex
First off (and unsurprisingly), people said that a big part of being a sex geek is being really interested in sexuality. Some of them were academic scholars who had spent
Continue reading What Makes A Sex Geek?
I’ve never really understood why so many people put (female) virginity on such a pedestal. Personally, I’d much rather know that my partner knows what they’re doing. When I get my car’s brakes checked, I prefer to have a mechanic with some experience. When I go to the doctor, knowing that they have years of experience in her profession gives me much more confidence. And when I have sex with someone, the fact that they’re skilled and practiced makes it much more fun.
I will admit that I do sometimes enjoy being someone’s first. The experience is sort of like being the first person to walk on fresh snow- there’s a certain pleasure that comes from taking the lead and helping someone discover
Continue reading The Fetishization of Virginity
Plenty of folks have heard about Kegel exercises, but let’s face it- it can be hard to remember to do them. Fortunately, there’s an app for that, too. Plus, the app includes a code for 15% off your next purchase at Good Vibrations. What a bargain!
Emily Morse, the host of the Sex With Emily podcast, has released Kegel Camp. It’s a super easy-to-use iphone app that keeps you on track. There’s a text tutorial that explains how to find the PC muscle and the benefits of keeping it toned, and then you can jump right in. There are twenty levels to work through and you’ll automatically level up after 5 sessions, though of course, you can select any level. And even level 20
Continue reading Go to Kegel Camp and Tone Your PC Muscles
I’ve already written about how much fun I had at Momentum. Somehow, in the middle of all of the presentations, events, and conversations, Cunning Minx and I found a few minutes to sit down and chat. This interview first posted on Polyamory Weekly and is reposted here, with permission.
Click on the play button below to listen in. Enjoy!
I’m a big fan of Brené Brown. Her book I Thought It Was Just Me changed my life by giving me a much clearer picture of how shame works and the language to talk about it with others. In fact, I respect her work so much that I posted two videos of her TED talks on my inspiration page, up there in the navbar and I’ve given her book to several friends. But there’s something that she holds firmly that I disagree with quite strongly.
In her talk Listening to Shame, she says that she thinks that there is no positive value to shame. Like many other people, she makes a distinction between guilt and shame. In her view, the former can motivate us
Continue reading The Adaptive Value of Shame
The news sites are all a-flutter with the latest news! A doctor has finally found the G-spot! [Insert your favorite joke about it being about time that a man figured out where it is. I'm getting tired of them.] This isn’t the first time that science has flip-flopped on this.
Back in 1982, sexologists Alice Kahn Ladas, M.S.S., Ed.D., Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., and John D. Perry, Ph.D published The G Spot: And Other Discoveries about Human Sexuality, popularizing the name and getting the word out about this erogenous zone. And since then, the debate has raged. Some folks are convinced that the Skene’s glands, which surround the urethra and are homologous to the prostate are the G-spot. Others are of the opinion that the
Continue reading Now You See It, Now You Don’t: What’s Going On With The G-spot?
sex geeks galore!
Last week, I went over to Reid Mihalko’s place with a bunch of sex geeks to watch some DVDs about building and promoting a business. At one point, the speaker said something that I think connects to a lot more than branding and teaching.
“People Protect What They Create”
One of the patterns I’ve seen a lot of folks get stuck in when it comes to relationship challenges is that one partner comes up with what they see as the solution to a problem and then try to convince the other person/people to go along with it. I’ve seen this happen in romantic/sexual relationships, in family dynamics, among co-workers, for groups of friends, and in communities of various sizes. It seems
Continue reading People Protect What They Create
I recently got sent the following question for a sex advice column for Dick-n-Jane.com (reprinted here with permission). If you have questions about sex, please get in touch- I’d be glad to offer what I can.
So far in my life I’ve only been able to have a vaginal orgasm about three times from what I can count but they’ve only happened when I was masturbating. One of the things I want more than anything, to be honest like you two, is to be able to orgasm vaginally with my partner since I’ve heard with a partner it is one of life’s most beautiful experiences.
My only problem is that I’m an incredibly shy and enclosed person. I love my boyfriend more than I’ve ever
Continue reading Sex Advice: Trouble Having a Vaginal Orgasm
Do you want to do research or journalism about the kink/leather/BDSM community? The Leather Archives & Museum in Chicago is an amazing resource and it has extensive collections.
Of course, it’s often difficult to get there, especially when you’re a grad student or freelance writer. So I was really happy to see that there’s a privately funded scholarship being offered. See below for info and pass it along!
On behalf of Leatherpage.com, Leland Carina is offering a privately-funded scholarship for research and journalism in the amount of $1,000. This money is intended to cover the flight and hotel for a weekend-long stay in Chicago, providing an opportunity for the recipient to research at the Leather Archives & Museum (LA&M). Any funds remaining after travel
Continue reading Scholarship For Research About The Leather/Kink Community
After I wrote Enthusiasm For Sex Isn’t The Same Thing As Sex-Positivity, I received this tweet, which reminded me of the other side of the coin:
#bbpBox_188766356102053888 a { text-decoration:none; color:#0084B4; }#bbpBox_188766356102053888 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; } @charlieglickman interesting… Conversely, one could also be sex positive but NOT enthusiastic for their own experiences April 7, 2012 4:13 pm via Twitter for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite @KelseyEducation Kelsey Education
I suppose I thought it was implicit in my post, but upon reflection, I think there’s some important stuff to unpack there.
There are a lot of reasons we might not be enthusiastic about sex, and there have definitely been several times in my life when I wasn’t. Stress, relationship challenges, health issues, having other priorities, effects from
Continue reading You Can Be Sex-Positive And Not Enthusiastic About Sex
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