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One of my favorite things to teach people about is prostate play. This often-overlooked erogenous zone doesn’t get enough attention and I want to get the word out about it!
As part of that, my friend, Aislinn Emirzian, and I have been teaching workshops and classes on how to do it (and we have one coming up on April 24 at Good Vibrations). But even though we know plenty about it, there’s always more to learn and we decided to ask for your input. If you have a few moments, please take our survey and share your experiences with us. It’ll help us make sure that we’re giving the most complete information. (Note- this survey is specifically for people who have received prostate stimulation.)
Thanks!
Continue reading A Survey on Prostate Play
Though it’s 9 months old, I just got pointed to the article The Lust Frontier: Why Can’t We Make Open Relationships Work? by Meghan Murphy. I have to admit that I was a bit surprised by the tone of the article, which is all about how many people try open relationships and have it not work. But then, I’ve been with my partner for 20 years and we’ve never been monogamous, though there have been at least three times that we decided to not have other partners because we had a lot on our plates and needed to focus on each other. But I get ahead of myself.
Right at the start of the article, it’s easy to see where it’s going:
Sam hadn’t
Continue reading Why Can’t We Have Good Articles About Polyamory?
I’m thrilled to announce that my workshop “Sex, Shame, & Love” has been accepted for the OpenSF, taking place June 8-10 in San Francisco. The event will bring together like minded people ready to share, explore and dialogue on creating acceptance of the non-monogamy community. This is a topic near and dear to my heart, since I’ve been non-monogamous for my entire adult life.
In my relationship with my partner of almost 20 years, I’ve noticed that one of the skills for successful polyamory is the ability to manage attachment (in the bonding sense of the word, rather than the Buddhist sense of the word). Of course, that’s a useful ability in any relationship- maintaining a relationship without veering either into enmeshment or disconnection
Continue reading Request For Input: How Do Poly Folks Manage Attachment In Your Relationships?
In all of the discussion and debate about Rush Limbaugh’s recent attack on and pseudo-apology to Sandra Fluke, there’s a piece that I want to call out: if you don’t respect sluts, you don’t respect women.
There have been other articles, like Yasmin Nair’s In Defense of Sluts, that touch on this. As she said,
The widespread support for Fluke is built entirely on the idea that she is not a slut and that she has been, as Andrea Mitchell put it, “victimised.” Fluke, we are constantly being assured, does not have promiscuous sex and Limbaugh is entirely wrong because his “slur” is based on a misrepresentation not only of her position but of her very character. Recently, Fluke has been reported to be toying
Continue reading If You Don’t Respect Sluts, You Don’t Respect Women
Geeking out with Reid Mihalko, Simone Bienne, Carol Queen, Kristen Tribby, and Nina Hartley
This past weekend, I was a speaker and panelist at the BIL Conference. It was an amazing time, with some wonderful speakers. And of course, having the chance to connect with other sex educators and geek out was great.
During one of the presentations, a participant asked a question about how she could set some boundaries for her son. He’s 7 years old and he’s recently discovered how much fun his penis can be. He enjoys touching it, but he’s sometimes does it in situations that his mom isn’t comfortable with, like in public. He’s also hugging other kids and pressing against them in ways that aren’t ok with them,
Continue reading A Sharp Knife Cuts Best: Setting Limits and Teaching Boundaries
I’m always intrigued by the ways that language shapes how we think about sex. Even seemingly small shifts in how we talk about sex can affect how we behave and feel about it.
even this bear can't believe it
ABCNews.com posted an article yesterday with the title Money Seems to Matter for Teen Girls, Condoms. And if you look at the title bar in your web browser, you’ll see the headline Boyfriends’ Money Affects Girls’ Condom Use, which I think shows a rather bizarre bias. After all, who’s wearing the condoms? How is it that cisgender women can use a cervical cap and a condom? How in the world does that make sense?
Leaving aside the fact that the research in question was looking
Continue reading Who Uses Condoms?
I’m really looking forward to being on the keynote panel for this event, as well as presenting a new workshop, Queer is a Verb. There are some amazing speakers on the lineup, as well as some really fun entertainment. And Carol Queen & I will be hosting a meet and greet, too. If you’re looking for a thought-provoking, inspiring, and entertaining weekend, join us!
New York, NY – The 2nd annual MOMENTUM Conference will take place in Washington DC from March 30th through April 1st, 2012. The conference will be held at the Crystal City Marriott at Reagan Airport. MOMENTUM brings together the best people in their fields of the LGBTQ, sex-work, BDSM and non-monogamous communities. Speakers will discuss ways to bridge the baffling dichotomies
Continue reading It’s Almost Time For MOMENTUM!
I found this on Tumblr and I’m just passing it on. See below for info and links.
I’m currently working on my senior thesis, a critique of queer theory and queer studies that focuses on the ways in which these disciplines presume a singular queer person/experience, which ultimately centers white gay men and subsequently erases people of color, trans* men and trans* women, non-binary folks, and more.
Although this wasn’t my original thesis topic, I decided to do this after spending months getting frustrated by the privileging of certain types of learning and writings, and the pressure to think and speak in ways that are ‘traditionally academic.’ Furthermore, I was, and still am, am extremely tired of and frustrated by the limited representations of queerness
Continue reading Call for Submissions: On Privilege and Erasure in Queer Studies
A little background: I’ve been going to PantheaCon, an annual convention for pagan spiritual groups and communities, for many years. It’s a really fun con, with some amazing workshops, discussions, rituals, and parties. At the 2011 con, some transgender women tried to attend a ceremony that was advertised in the program as open to women, and were told they could not enter. Predictably, this set off a lot of controversy and discussion (see the links at the bottom of this page for a good roundup), as well as inspiring the organizers of the First Annual Conference on Earth-Based, Nature-Centered, Polytheistic and Indigenous Faiths: Gender & Earth-Based Faiths, at which I led a discussion on masculinity and spirituality.
This past weekend was the 2012
Continue reading If You Want Me To Not See You As An Enemy, Stop Doing The Things My Enemies Do: An Open Letter to Z Budapest
Sex addiction is a slippery slope, but perhaps not in the way you might think I mean. One of the big difficulties we have in talking about sex addiction is the lack of clarity around what we’re talking about.
People get into habits or get hooked on all kinds of things: shopping, food, drugs, sex, football, video games, or facebook. If you’ve ever gone on a Law and Order binge (or maybe Battlestar Galactica is your preferred drug show), you know what it’s like when it’s hard to say no.
While I don’t usually get hooked on TV shows, I do find that sugar is a really steep, slippery slope for me. I’m pre-diabetic and my body simply doesn’t handle sugar all that well.
Continue reading The Slippery Slope of Sex Addiction
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