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This post also appeared on the Good Vibrations Magazine.
An article on the Stranger.com asks the question “why are so many gay kids killing themselves?” And the answer is that queer kids have always been at higher risk for suicide, drug abuse, depression, and sexual assault. For example, queer kids comprise up to 30% of teen suicides. And although we don’t know how many people are queer, it’s safe to say that it’s less than 30%, so there’s clearly a disproportionate impact.
Queer youth are also more likely to be homeless, mostly because their parents kick them out of the house when they come out (the awful term for it is “throwaway kids”). Imagine having to choose between being true to yourself or having a
Continue reading Homophobia, Bullying, and Queer Youth Suicides
This piece also appeared on the Good Vibrations Magazine.
Clipped from: www.huffingtonpost.com (share this clip)
At the beginning of September, I wrote about an opinion piece published on the Chronicle of Higher Education website. The original piece, by Margaret Brooks, is a pretty standard example of how people attack sex education through fear, shame, innuendo and misrepresentation of the facts. And several of my colleagues and I responded to it. We also collaborated to write a letter to the editor of the Chronicle of Higher Education, which we sent them on Sept 16:
Dear Chronicle Editors,
We were deeply disappointed by your recent publication of economics Professor Margaret Brooks’ op-ed, “‘Sex Week’ Should Arouse Caution Most of All.” It is clear that
Continue reading Sex Educators Call Out the Chronicle of Higher Education
This post also appeared on the Good Vibrations Magazine.
Clipped from: sexandthe405.com (share this clip)
Google just launched Google Instant, a somewhat nifty feature. You’ve probably noticed recently that when you start to enter a search query, Google would give you suggestions so you wouldn’t need to keep typing. They’ve taken it a step further. Now, as you type, the search results from the first item in the list of suggestions appears. Keep typing and new results show up. If you want to search for “George Washington,” you’ll see search results for “Gmail”, then “Geico”, then “Georgia”, then “George Steinbrenner”, and then the ones you want.
I’m sure that this will be useful to a lot of people, especially as the suggestion algorithms
Continue reading Google’s Acting in Loco Parentis
When the topic of slut-shaming comes up, it’s often said that there is no equivalent for men. After all, the terms used for men who have a lot of sex or a lot of sex partners are things like ladies-man, stud, or Don Juan. They lack the negativity of slut and I’m certainly not going to claim that there aren’t different rules for men and women when it comes to sex. After all, I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone called a stud to try to shame him into complying with gender roles or to punish him.
At the same time, it’s often overlooked that there is a comparable dynamic that affects men. Boys and men who act in ways that don’t fit within
Continue reading Fag Bashing & Slut Shaming: It’s About Policing Gender Roles
Clipped from: msmagazine.com (share this clip)
Over on the Ms Magazine blog, there’s a post exploring whether porn is racist, which was sparked by some of the things that Gail Dines has said about the industry. And in among the various comments, Dines herself includes a link to the chapter in her book on race and the porn industry. Since I believe in both giving different perspectives a fair shake and not talking about things that I haven’t checked out myself, I read through it. She also has another sample chapter on the topic of growing up female in a culture influenced by porn.
At the risk of saying something that may surprise some folks, I actually agree with quite a bit of what
Continue reading If Gail Dines Would Stop Shaming People, Maybe Folks Would Listen
This post first appeared on the Good Vibrations Magazine.
Clipped from: www.time.com (share this clip)
It’s been known for a while that men tend to have a shorter life expectancy than women. While there are a few guesses as to why that is, one factor is having a macho attitude.
Time Magazine reports that some new research shows that emotional openness increased boys’ mental health through middle school. Further, it’s known that men who try to tough it out when they need medical attention don’t get the care they need. Being able to ask for help is a much more effective way to deal with life’s challenges than trying to go it alone. As the saying goes, many hands make light work.
And yet,
Continue reading Emotional Skills Help Men Live Longer
I recently ran across a blog post called Regrets of the Dying, written by someone who worked for years in palliative care. The emotions and reflections that arise as one nears the end of life often seem to strip things down to the bare essentials. I think that many of the regrets and final wishes that people tend to express have a lot to offer anyone who wants to live a sexually fulfilled life.
(Note- the following numbered items come from the original post, but the subsequent interpretations are my own.)
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
There’s a lot of pressure on all of us to conform to a
Continue reading Living a Sexually Fulfilled Life: Lessons From the Dying
I’m teaching a workshop next week as part of the San Francisco Sex Information Continuing Education program. I’d love to see you there!
Understanding Sex & Shame Tuesday, August 17th, 7-8:30 pm Audre Lorde room, Women’s Building, SF, 3543 18th Street, San Francisco, CA $15 or $5 for current San Francisco Sex Information volunteers Purchase tickets Sexual shame is one of the biggest challenges that sexuality educators face. The more we understand about how it works, the easier it is to develop strategies for responding to sexual shame. Charlie Glickman PhD will discuss the roots of shame, how it can both serve and hinder us, the ways that shame is used to reinforce social rules, and the differences between toxic shame and pro-social
Continue reading Upcoming Workshop: Understanding Sex & Shame 8/17/10
The NY Times reported today that anyone working out at a gym needs to be really careful to avoid skin infections such as MRSA, impetigo, jock itch, or athlete’s foot from contact with other people’s skin or from gym equipment. These Gym Transmitted Infections (GTIs- a term I just made up) can be annoying, in the case of athlete’s foot, or life threatening, in the case of MRSA. [As an aside, a great way to avoid jock itch is to put your socks on before your underwear. When you do it the other way round, you can transmit the fungus from your feet to your genitals.]
The article offers some great tips, such as assuming that you are being exposed to skin infections, washing
Continue reading GTIs vs. STIs: Notice the Difference?
This post also appeared on the Good Vibrations Magazine.
For years, safer sex advocates have been saying that self-esteem has a huge effect on how much people engage in risk-reduction and harm-reduction behaviors. That’s why many of the most effective intervention programs & organizations, whether online like Scarleteen.com or in-person like the StopAIDS Project, offer counseling and support, in addition to information.
So I was really interested to read this post on ScienceDaily.com about research showing that among the 1,000 HIV-positive and negative gay and bisexual men surveyed:
Almost 10 percent of the participants reported that they had been victims of childhood sexual abuse and nearly 30 percent had experienced gay-related victimization between the ages of 12 and 14, including verbal insults, bullying, threats of
Continue reading Shame as a Public Health Issue
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