One of the most common questions I hear is “What do you mean, sex-positive? Doesn’t everyone like sex?” But sex-positivity is much more complex than whether you like sex or not.
Western societies have been influenced by the idea that sex is harmful, shameful, disgusting or sinful for centuries. While allowances have usually been made for certain situations, such as procreation, the idea that pleasure, the body, and sex are (at best) necessary evils has deep roots in many different cultures.
Over the course of the 20th Century, those attitudes shifted somewhat, but in many ways, all that we did was move the boundaries of allowable sex. And yet, many perfectly common forms of sexual expression continue to be placed outside the definition of acceptable sex.
Another way that sex-negativity can manifest is through the Myth of the Normal. When the Myth of the Normal is invoked, we define certain sexual acts or situations as normal, while everything else becomes abnormal/sinful/wrong/shameful. A quick glance at the average sex advice column in the supermarket checkout stand magazines will offer plenty of examples of the ways that we create the Myth of the Normal.
These sex-negative patterns have a deep impact on how we think about and experience sex. As a sex educator, I strive to help people explore the ways that sex-negativity affects them in order to move towards a more joyous relationship with sexuality.
You’ll find quite a few articles on this site in which I explore sex positivity. I invite you to read through a few and see if anything resonates for you.
"The journey between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place." 