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I’ve been following the development of KinkForAll for a while and I’ve heard great things about it. It’s an “unconference” that intends to “inspire a creative, interactive and open environment where everyone feels comfortable discussing, learning about, and discovering the intersections of all kinds of sexuality with the rest of life.” Sounds fun, right? It gets even better.
KFA is totally free and it’s crowd-sourced which means that each participant is expected to “give a talk or presentation, help with one, or otherwise contribute in some way.” The idea is that there are no spectators and everyone helps to make it happen. Of course, there are plenty of ways to do that.
To make it even more fun, there’s no pre-planning events. You show up …
Continue reading KinkForAll Comes to San Francisco
This also appeared on CarnalNation.com.
As some of you may know, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is a document produced by the American Psychiatric Association. It serves as the official list of how we define mental health and mental health disorders. In a nutshell, if it’s in the DSM, it’s officially a disorder.
The hope, at least for most ethical, well-trained, and compassionate professionals, is that the diagnoses are based on clinical evidence, scientific research, and fact. That’s a tall order, given that our understanding of mental health processes is constantly growing. So every few years, the APA gets a bunch of folks together and revises the document. It doesn’t happen often and it has been about 10 years …
Continue reading Spread the Word: Kinky is NOT a Diagnosis
Ahh, the Daddy.
For those of you unfamiliar with the term from a sexual perspective, the Daddy evolved in the gay BDSM scene. Back in the day, you couldn’t just walk into a store, buy a bunch of leather gear, and call yourself a dominant. The entire community was underground and you had to know someone in order to get introduced to it. As part of that process, men would start off as bottoms (sometimes, also known as “boys”) and would have to earn their community credibility.
The early gay community coalesced in New York and San Francisco, in part because those cities were the staging locations for World War II and lots of men decided to stay there upon their return from the war. …
Continue reading Who’s Your Daddy?
My latest article “The Case for Kink” just got posted on Carnal Nation. Here’s the opening, but you’ll have to go to the site for the rest of it (the link is below).
One of the criticisms that gets leveled at BDSM players is the claim that BDSM is violence and that it reinforces social oppressions such as sexism, racism, homophobia, etc. There’s even a Facebook group called the Sex-Positive Leftists Critical of BDSM. In my experience, these sorts of arguments often have just enough accuracy in some of their claims that it’s hard to tease out the distortions, misunderstandings, and plain old lies. This can be really challenging, especially for newcomers to the world of kink, because it can be quite shaming
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Continue reading The Case for Kink
If you’re kinky and looking for folks to connect with, you might find Facebook to be a bit vanilla for your tastes. Plus, Facebook doesn’t give you too many options for relationship types. If you’re polyamorous, have a play partner, a life partner and a submissive, Facebook simply can’t handle that.
If you want a social networking site that reflects the diversity of BDSM relationships, check out Felife. Whatever your sexual orientation, relationship status, or sexual desires, preferences and practices, you’ll find folks on Fetlife. The forums are lots of fun to browse through (although you’ll definitely find some that make you wonder), lots of the photos are super hot, and you can find plenty of folks to meet.
Also, there’s a lot of …
Continue reading kinky social networking
One more post for today.
The new Leather Archives & Museum exhibit is gathering community input in order to develop a library of the best BDSM-related books. Clarisse Thorn (who, by the way, has a fab blog that I highly recommend) has created an online poll to make it easier to make sure that nothing gets left out. Check out her call for participants below for info about the project and a link to the poll.
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Hey everyone!
Calling all READERS within the Leather / Kink / Fetish / S&M / B&D / BDSM community:
I (Clarisse) have been asked to curate a pansexual BDSM books exhibit at the Leather Archives & Museum (your friendly neighborhood BDSM museum). I know a fair bit …
Continue reading Vote for your favorite BDSM fiction
<full disclosure> I’m on the Advisory Committee for the Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities (CARAS) </full disclosure>
CARAS is conducting an online survey to assess the educational needs of the BDSM community. The goals of the project are to identify what educational needs people have, determine what practices educators and organizers have, and increase the quality of content and professionalism among BDSM educators. There are a lot of sex educators and “sexperts” (I really dislike that word) out there and while many of them are quite skilled, there are also plenty that don’t really know enough about their topics and/or how to teach. But then, my degree is in Adult Sex Education so I get picky about it. <sex nerd self-promotion> If you …
Continue reading BDSM community educational needs assessment
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom has set up a petition to get the American Psychiatric Association (APA) to take kinky sex out of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder. The DSM is the guidebook for mental health professionals and at the risk of oversimplifying the issue, if something is listed in it, it’s considered a mental health diagnosis or illness.
There is no empirical evidence that people who engage in kinky sex are any different from anyone else, other than their sexual desires. Of course, people who face stigma, ostracism, loss of their jobs, housing or children, or who just have to be in the closet because of sex-negative people deal with stresses that have an impact. But that’s the result of …
Continue reading petition to revise the DSM
The Journal of Sexual Medicine recently published some Australian research showing that BDSM practitioners are no more likely than their vanilla counterparts to have been coerced into sexual activity and are no more likely to be unhappy or anxious. In fact, men who engage in BDSM scored significantly lower on a scale of psychological distress than other men. Plus, the folks who had explored BDSM were more likely to have tried a wide range of sexual activities, which is a crucial part of discovering your sexuality and personal likes & dislikes. Here’s a link to the abstract.
While the survey was taken in Australia and therefore might show different results than a similar survey in the US might (although I doubt it), it’s wonderful …
Continue reading It’s official- BDSM players are normal
The Folsom St. Fair is coming up on Sept. 30 and thousands of people will descend on the South of Market neighborhood to see and be seen. And every year, I hear many of the same complaints and issues, so I thought I’d give y’all some tips for making sure that the day is fun for everyone.
First off, the fair is a sexually-oriented event. You’ll see folks in all sorts of outfits from nothing but a pair of sneakers to lots of leather to amazing costumes that took hours of devoted labor. If such things make you uncomfortable, you may want to reconsider your reasons for attending. Also, you’ll see lots of hot men kissing, spanking, flogging and paddling each other, and every year, …
Continue reading some tips for Folsom St. Fair visitors
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