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I just ran across a 2009 article in the Journal Of Sexual Medicine called Emotional Intelligence and Its Association with Orgasmic Frequency in Women and it’s pretty fascinating.
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to identify, assess, and work with emotions. You could also think of it as the ability to control one’s emotions and influence other people’s feelings, although I prefer to think of it as “working with” rather than controlling them. In my experience, we don’t control our emotions as much as decide how we want to respond to them. EI is a really useful skill, although there are some criticisms of the tools used to measure it.
In any case, I think it’s pretty easy to see how EI can help us in …
Continue reading Emotional Intelligence and Better Sex (For Women)
This article first appeared on the Good Vibrations Magazine.
There’s a pattern that I’ve seen in some circles to assume that people who describe themselves as sex-positive will do anything and everything. And while that affects anyone who moves in these communities, there’s a way in which it has an impact on women that’s different from the way that it affects men.
Clarisse Thorn has a great post about this. She describes how some men have assumed that because she is a sex- & BDSM-activist and educator, she’s sexually available to them. She’s had men grab her, largely because they thought that her ease in talking about sex meant that she had no boundaries. I’ve had many conversations with various female co-workers and colleagues …
Continue reading Sex Positivity and the Virgin/Whore Dichotomy
The Swedish Association for Sexual Education has just published an excellent info booklet about the hymen, which they have renamed the “vaginal corona”.
Apparently, the Swedish word for hymen is modomshina, which is translated as “virginity membrane.” But as they point out in the booklet, there are many different ways that people define virginity and the presence or absence of a vaginal corona doesn’t reliably tell you if someone has had sex. Plus, they point out that the hymen isn’t a membrane, but rather, it’s a set of folds of tissue that can have many different shapes. In fact, the image to the left is their rendition of some of the possibilities.
So these folks decided to come up with a new word …
Continue reading Vaginal Corona: The Updated Hymen
A news report came out today that hits close to home for me. Literally, since it’s about something going on at my hometown high school.
It seems that an annual tradition has evolved in which the senior girls create a “slut list” of the incoming first-year girls. According to ABC news, the list names of the younger girls, along with something meant to be degrading. Some examples from the ABC article:
“I’m so desperate and hairy that I’ll give you [drugs] for free if you get with me,” one entry read.
“Keeping up with the family tradition, [blank] me … and knock me up,” read another.
The list is just part of what happens on the first day of school, students say. Seniors also
…
Continue reading Slut Shaming Doesn't Sparkle
I just received a link to a really important article on the topic of sexual violence against women and how it can affect sexual health behaviors. Some people find the topic of sexual assault triggering, so I ask you to take care of yourself around that before reading this.
The paper “Sexual Violence Against Women: Impact on High-Risk Health Behaviors and Reproductive Health” (click on the title for a brief overview and links to the html and pdf versions of the full article) summarizes the current research on the ways in which sexual assault affects a range of sexual health behaviors and outcomes for women. Having been a rape crisis intervention counselor with Bay Area Women Against Rape, none of the information …
Continue reading The Effects of Sexual Violence Against Women
Via @clarissethorn
Orgasm Inc. is a new film that premiered at the Hot Docs Film Festival, Toronto, Ontario about the ongoing trend to medicalize female sexuality. As we’ve seen over and over, there’s a lot of money to be made by promising better sex. But a female equivalent of Viagra has yet to be developed. Instead, there are a multitude of companies promising to help women have “normal” sex lives. Ick.
Here’s a link to more info about the film and a trailer.
Related Good Vibrations Products:
I Love Female Orgasm
America’s War On Sex
Healing Sex…
Continue reading Orgasm Inc.: A film about the medicalization of female sexuality
It seems like there’s a spa for everything these days. I just found out about Phit, a vaginal spa that opened up in New York. Phit stands for “pelvic health integrated techniques” and their goal is to help women develop better pelvic health. (Note- that photo is just one I found online. It’s not a photo of Phit.)
Now, I think that’s a great thing to support. The pelvic floor is, quite literally, the foundation of our bodies. And since it’s not really designed to support the weight of our bodies, what with the whole evolutionaru shift from walking on all fours to going upright and all, pelvic floor problems are quite common. For women who need expert advice around pelvic floor health, working …
Continue reading there's a spa for everything
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